working man quotes funny

Duct tape is like the force. Lily Tomlin 10 I am so clever that sometimes I do not understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Women want to learn.

. They are loyal diligent and smart. I used to sell furniture for a living. I hate when I lose things at work like pens papers sanity and dreams Anonymous 22.

If hard work is the key to success most people would rather pick the lock. I beat people up Muhammad Ali I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Teach a man to fish and hell buy a funny hat.

I can sit and look at it for hours Jerome K. Heres a list of funny work quotes to inspire you to appreciate your job. I am a friend of the working man and I would rather be his friend than be one.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake Napoleon Bonaparte Its just a job. I am a friend of the working man and I would rather be his friend than be one. Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute Anonymous.

Harold Pinter Many people who know me call me the hardest working man in the news business because youre never ever going to outwork me. I can sit and look at it for hours Jerome K. Good Funny Inspirational Work Quotes 9 I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Every day I arrive at work with good intentions and a great attitudeThen idiots happen. Hard work never killed anybody but why take a chance. So read on these funny inspirational workplace quotes squeeze the stress-ball and have a chuckle.

Chase him and he will run Sit still and ignore him and hell come purring at your feet. Thats what makes them the best employees. Discover and share Funny Working Man Quotes.

A married man should forget his mistakes. Work is the greatest thing in the world so we should always save some of it for tomorrow. Funny Happy Work Anniversary Quotes Always remember that you are absolutely unique just like everyone else.

Talk to a hungry man about fish and youre a consultant Tori Filler Experience is what you get when you dont get what you want. Words are not enough to thank you for your hard work this last year so Ill stop right there. Oscar Wilde 11 Life is like a sewer what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Its not a mans working hours that are important--its his leisure hours. The best employees always work hard. 35 Funny Quotes About Work Stress 21.

Clarence Darrow Only by the sweat of my own brow. A man is like a cat. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.

Helen Rowland 10 0 Copy Add a comment Theres very little advice in mens magazines because men dont think theres a lot they dont know. I asked if I could leave work early the other day and the boss said yes if I made up the time I said sure its twenty past fourteen Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory. He took a day off.

Doing nothing is very hard to do you never know when youre finished Leslie Nielsen The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one Oscar Wilde I like work. Its the weekend Said nobody who is self-employed 35 Funny Quotes About Work Stress. Youve done a great job doing your job.

It has a light side a dark side and it holds the universe together Scott Adams Give a man a fish and youll feed him for a day. We hope that next year youll also have some of these qualities. I believe I used all my sick days so Im calling in dead.

Its impossible to take breaks. Men think I know what Im doing just show me somebody naked. I am a totally working man.

I always try to go the extra mile at work but my boss always finds me and brings me back Anonymous. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work William Faulkner. Thats where these inspirational funny work quotes and office sayings can help.

Doing nothing is harder than it looks. Best Funny Work Quotes If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential that word would be meetings Dave Barry I like work. Here are some of our favorites.

A man walks into a bar and its empty - its just him and the bartender. Heres to another year of outward smiles and inward screams. View Gallery 20 Photos.

Grass grows birds fly waves pound the sand. That is your bosss job Anonymous. 20 Funny Work Quotes - Sarcastic Quotes about Colleagues 1 Essential Watermelon Recipes for Summer 2 24 Low-Maintenance Plants for the Lazy Gardener 3 The Best Michigan Beach Town for a Summer Getaway 4 Easy Cheap 30-Minute or Faster Dinner Recipes 5 Dad Jokes To Keep the Whole Family Laughing.

Beat the 5 oclock rush leave work at noon Anonymous 23.

Because Men Don T Do The Housework And Errands On Normal Days Either Lmao Morning Humor Housework Quotes Funny Quotes

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Word Of Advice Never Get Involved With A Man With No Job No Money And No Ambition It Will Only Bring You Down And Broke Work Quotes Funny Job Quotes Funny